Be a leader, not a boss

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Here you'll find my infrequent musings and reflections on all things that impact our beliefs and potential.

17 February 2022

What does this even mean, and what do you call yourself? Because it doesn’t just apply in work. Leaders and bosses are everywhere. At home and in all our relationships.

The words are often used interchangeably, but there’s a world of difference between the attributes and ways of working of leaders and bosses.

Do you tell people what you want done without any consideration or explanation? Do you encourage and develop people, or are you quick to criticise others and get your own work seen instead?

The world is full of bosses. There are far too few leaders.

But that presents an opportunity for those who really want to lead well. Good leaders have far better relationships and engagement with employees, and more opportunities ultimately become available.

Being a leader is helpful in relationships outside of work too. Imagine dealing with someone who constantly told you what to do or how to do it with no room for discussion, who pointed the finger when things went wrong?

If you want to be a better leader, take note of these ideas:

1. You do it too. If you’re happy to sit on the side-lines and let others slog it out, you’re being a boss. Leaders lead by example. Show people the way. Be involved. Don’t just spout your request out and walk away.

2. Know your purpose. What vision are you leading people towards? This needs to inspire and motivate. What are your goals and mission? Are people empowered to deliver them? Do they even understand them? This is very different than providing a to-do list or sending a couple of emails without any context.

3. Delegate. Bosses micromanage and no-one wants to be on the receiving end of that. Leaders trust their people, but a boss struggles to let go. A leader isn’t afraid of their weaknesses and isn’t threatened by those who are stronger in those areas. A boss hires people that don’t make them feel threatened.

A boss always has a weaker team. As much as the team members might be great, under the management of a boss like this, they’ll never accomplish as much because they’re not empowered and aren’t given the chance to shine (because the boss is scared they’ll shine brighter than them).

4. Leaders value respect. Whereas a boss drives a culture of fear. Leaders use skill, empathy, enthusiasm, trust, and expertise to encourage others to respect and follow them, but a boss rules with an iron fist, using threats and fear to gain compliance. Leaders’ followers support them and will them to succeed. Those working for a boss nearly always want them to fail, and breathe a sigh of relief when they leave, quit or are fired.

5. Leaders develop others. They’re not scared of the competition and are always seeking to develop and grow their employees. A boss is too self-interested and worried they’ll be replaced to care about developing others.

6. Leaders know how to motivate. They know that no two employees are the same. They get to know their employees likes, dislikes, values, concerns, and hopes and know how to inspire them. You might hear a boss say, “It is what it is. This is what needs to be done. You can always look for another job if you don’t like it.”

Leaders use positive techniques for motivation, while bosses tend to criticize.

7. Leaders take responsibility. In the face of failure, the leader is still out in front leading the way and owning this sh*t. A boss will try to absolve as much responsibility as possible and is quick to blame the employees to whoever will listen.

I’m not alone in having experienced bosses vs leaders. Sadly it's commonplace and I hear a lot from others about their experiences of it. It’s a dark place to be working for someone who fits the boss category, feeling totally unsupported with little development opportunities, wonder when the next blow up at you or sneaky manoeuvre behind your back might be.

Give me a leader any time. There’s nothing stopping you from developing your leadership skills. You’ll be helping yourself, your employees, and your family. What’s not to love about that?

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