The art of handling difficult conversations with grace

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Here you'll find my infrequent musings and reflections on all things that impact our beliefs and potential.

6 July 2022

Communication can make or break relationships. No matter who you’re communicating with, or what you’re communicating about, when we communicate effectively things are always that bit easier.

Even the conversations we deem difficult can add value to our relationships when we handle them with grace.

These tips can help you when you next need to have a conversation that might be difficult:

1. Don’t put it off. It’s important to face things as soon as possible, and that takes courage. While we might want to stick our head in the sand, not dealing with things can make them worse. Not to mention ensuring we hold on to some of the more negative emotions we might feel.
2. Do some prep. It’s easy to be derailed from what you want to say during a challenging conversation. Think about what you want to discuss and make some bullet points. If you know the conversation might be hard for you, it’s also likely going to be hard for the other person. You owe it to them to prep – even if it’s a short 5 mins to keep on track.
3. Know what you want to achieve. Consider what your goal is for the conversation and what a good outcome would be. What changes might you want to happen and what do you want the other person to do differently?
4. How are you feeling? If emotions are high, it might be best to wait until your emotions are under control. When we can control our emotions, we’re better able to have a challenging conversation and view more perspectives. Going for a walk or talking to someone you trust are some simple things you can do to bring your emotional state back under control. Think about what else you could do. If you enter a conversation with high emotions, it’s more likely to trigger high emotions in the other person too.
5. Silence is golden. During moments of silence, people are often doing a lot of thinking, so it’s not necessarily a bad thing. You don’t have to fill every minute with words. Pauses are powerful to help us gather thoughts and remain calm.
6. Think about the future. What do you want from your relationship with the person you’re talking to? It’s important to consider this, because how difficult conversations are handled can make or break your relationships. The way we communicate with people will be remembered.

It’s easy to want to be ostriches when it comes to finding the courage to have a challenging conversation. But when we ignore them, things start to fester, and feelings can turn sour.

Following the steps above will help you think about what you want to achieve from the conversations and consider how they can be resolved. Your relationships will benefit greatly when you can work together to find solutions.

Learn to handle these tough conversations with grace and, over time, you’ll find fewer and fewer issues that you have to resolve.

If you'd like your team to have some training on handling difficult conversations, don't be shy, drop me a line through the contact page.

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